Heartbreaks can be extremely painful. But, there is one thing that effects an individual more than the pain that they cause – guilt. Feelings of guilt can be incredibly overwhelming, especially if you are the one who initiates the breakup.
According to Jonah Engler, the guilt of ending a relationship can be painful, but the most important thing to consider in such instances is the need to forgive, forgiving the other person and yourself. That helps one go a long way and overcome all the confusion that comes with a breakup. More importantly, it is crucial for one’s wellbeing.
Breakup Guilt
Guilt is a big part of every breakup, regardless of who broke up. If you are on the receiving end, the guilt relates to what you might have done. In contrast, if you are the one breaking up, the guilt of breaking someone’s heart remains. Either way, one always carries the baggage.
As per Jonah Engler, all this is quite common and happens to everyone. The important part is figuring out how to avoid letting it get to you, especially for your health and wellbeing. All while starting a new chapter of life.
So, how do you get over guilt after a breakup?
Through the process of forgiveness, of course.
Guilt and Forgiveness as per Jonah Engler
People hold grudges, especially when it comes to a bad end of a relationship. Such grudges make one hold someone accountable, be it their ex-partner or themselves. This method takes one nowhere but instead increases one’s own suffering. After acceptance, the most critical part of moving on is forgiveness.
Forgiveness Importance
It is essential to understand that relationships change. One’s needs and wants also change. Sometimes people find it difficult to cope, just like other times when you are not able to do so either. For this, it is not fair to hold anyone accountable. Instead, it is fair to let it go. It is fair to forgive.
Forgiveness is a big part of treating feelings of guilt. It helps one understand the concept of making peace while focusing on internal growth.
As per Jonah Engler, in any relationship, compromise is crucial but what’s even more crucial is understanding everyone makes mistakes, whether it’s you or someone else. That is what helps one get over the guilt and lead a happier life.
Jonah Engler’s Advice
Heartbreaks happen. More often than we like.
There is never one person to blame. What is essential is to see how to cope after it has happened. This coping helps to move on, and moving on is what helps one return to normal, especially if they need to keep on going.
Feeling bad about an incident never makes it better. Instead, it makes it worse. The intense feeling of guilt and shame reduces one’s mental wellbeing. Because of this, other areas of life are also affected.
According to Jonah Engler, forgiveness is the right step to take after a breakup to heal and grow.