Do you have rude and ill-mannered teens and dealing with them every day? Does he behave aggressively when you ask him to do his assignments? Or she slams her bedroom door loudly when you tell her not to stay out too late at night? Fret not; you can deal with the problem. You love your children and want the best for them. Then, you need to make teens understand that there are rules in the family, which is different from the world outside.
Do not panic because disrespecting parents is common among teenagers as they transition from childhood to adulthood. Then, you cannot get away with the problem just by ignoring the same.
These days social media addiction is a big problem. According to an article published on https://edition.cnn.com, 60 percent of parents undervalued how depressed, alone, and unhappy their teens were and another 94 percent did not understand the number of battles that occur on social media and its addiction. So here are some of the best tips to deal with rude and ill-mannered teens:
Jonah Engler recommends parents to understand the teen’s emotional needs
When teens misbehave with their parents, it is due to some emotional requirements that they do not get from their mom or dad. Showing disrespect is one way of seeking attention. Other times, it is a sign that teens do not feel appreciated or accepted.
What you need to do is sit with your teen son or daughter, assuring them that you are there for them. Tell them that they can talk about their problems, whatever might that be. Remind that you love them unconditionally and they can talk freely just as friends do. Many times, kids feel helpless and in their growing phase, they need to differentiate themselves from their dad and mom. In such cases, you as parents often need to understand a teen’s perspective and adapt to those ideas even if they are completely different from your views.
Another essential aspect of coping with teen behavior is connecting with them on an emotional level. Getting into a conflict with your teen son or daughter will not solve the problem. You need to exercise tact rather than coercion to deal with aggressive kids. You need to understand them, and their emotional requirements. It will help you empathize with your teenage children. Try this and you will benefit.
Understand what your teen kid wants independence
Independence is good, but that does not mean doing whatever one feels like, especially if it harms others. Therefore, severe disrespect for parents mustn’t be tolerated. Though it is part of dealing with kids in a family needs coping with, in the right way.
The kind of misbehavior could be unwanted rude remarks, eye-rolling, and ignored requests. Your kids grow up in an environment where power is in the hands of parents. Your children are expected to follow all rules and that is why your kids feel powerless. It is natural and your teens want to express their feelings and ideas to parents. Therefore, Jonah Engler cites that as parents, you need to give some independence to your children while they grow up, but ensure it’s not misused.
Jonah Engler requests parents to become role models
As parents, you need to become role models for your teen son or daughter. Then, your kids will behave properly at home. Parents who become role models have happy kids around the house, and respect elders. Again, there are some parents, who criticize their children but behave irrationally sometimes. It is not that all parents are like that but few are there, who have difficulty in dealing with teenagers. Anger and aggression of parents will not work. Instead, you should mix with your teenage kids like friends.
It is important to remember that kids look up to their parents as role models. Parents who want respect from their children should have a considerate attitude towards teens as well, their partners, as well as towards others, including neighbors, who are outside your family. It is important when your teen is testing restrictions.
Smart parenting is rising over your teen’s manners because you cannot cope with aggressive or disrespectful teens by stooping to their level of immaturity. Win over your kids by staying calm and composed, understanding, and consistent. It’s is called being a role model and you should implement this very early when your kids are small. Then, even if you have not done so, do it now because it is never too late to implement good things.
Define clear and unswerving restrictions for your kids
The major reasons for disrespect are the lack of boundaries or restrictions in a family. Usually, spoilt brats who have their way become disrespectful towards their parents and others. In families, where there are no rules set and parents fight, aggression among teens is unavoidable. Then, you should not dictate your kids either. Things need dealing tactfully.
There are families with rules but they apply these inconsistently that lead teens to disrespect parents. Again, problems occur when you apply rules randomly on different weeks or days with no rhyme or reason. Let us explain this point with the help of an example. For instance, letting your teen son keep room light on until 11 pm in one week and then in another week asking your kid to switch off lights at 8.30 pm, is irrational.
There are inconsistencies when one parent uses one rule and another a different rule. For instance, dad tells one hour of TV time and mom says no limit on watching television series. At such times, your kid might use one rule against the other and make parents fight.
When parents use relaxed rules one week and then implement stringent rules in a different week, kids can take advantage of the inconsistency to challenge the rules. Therefore, rules should be clear and consistent throughout. When you set rules, sit with your kids, and discuss the limitations before you implement them.
Now that you have these tips handy, it will help you deal with your disrespectful kids in a better way. Tactfulness works most of the time to make your teen son or daughter disciplined instead of coercion.